My Peace Corps contract is over on January 4th, 2012 and until them I'm working on my CV, networking with local big-wigs, and looking for a job in Kigali. I feel like I have so many capabilities that can be utilized well in Rwanda: language capacity, cultural understanding, situational adaptation, along with a western education make my skills set ripe for the region! I want to use these gifts I have to the FULLEST, maximizing the impact of good programs --and even my presence-- to make the biggest difference in the lives of every day people who are suffering and in need.
Does that make sense?
I hope you can understand my dilemma: I love you all. I miss you all. I dream about you all the time. I want to be where you are. I want to laugh with my brother and sister. I want to sit around with my dad. I want to have heart-to-hearts with my mom. I want to listen to Grandma's ideas. I want to be spoiled by Nana. I want to take 30 minutes to hug and say hello to our families at holidays and gatherings.
But I also want to help create that kind of love that we have amongst people who have no idea it even exists. Can you imagine a sadder life? We are so blessed to have not only our freedoms and material wealth, but more so to have our family, friends, love, happiness, joy, hope, and ideals. And this place is largely devoid of all of that. I think government corruption might always exist in Africa, and the people might stay poor forever. But the deep-seeded hopelessness, hate, distrust, coldness, and lack of education is so unnecessary and a problem that can be addressed.
Rwanda is actually a nation that does things. They are seen by international workers as a model of accomplishing positive change. They're making things happen and I feel hopeful for the work here. They've come a long way since the 1994 Genocide in rebuilding their nation, but I want to help them rebuild themselves (its especially sad to see the secondary trauma affecting the youth born after the Genocide--they weren't in or even near the War but are being raised by parents and a society that were severely traumatized by it).
Please understand how hard it was--and is-- for me to decide to look for work in Kigali, even if it is for just a short time (could be a few months or indefinitely).
Oh, I forgot to tell you The Plan! Life Plan B: look for a job in Kigali. See if I DO like international development and want to make a career of it. If I do, get a masters in something related. If I don't, I'll go back to Life Plan A: travel through Asia to California and become a school counselor. Unless of course a New Life Plan occurs to me :)
So my dear family and friends, I hope we hung out in August cause I can't say when we'll see each other again!
